Big Boss

Could not resist putting down the kind of control freak you are and recording the kind of details you observe and make us comply with after reading this post from Madmomma . As I try to recollect all the stuff you control us on .. lemme start with the beginning of the day to the night

a) As Papa gets ready for office and wears his full-sleeved shirt while still donning his boxers, you scream papa "pnyjama" ( your term for Pants and a gabduspeak for pyjama) and cry if he delays it even by a second. Ideally you would want him to remove his home wear and don office clothes all simultaneously. You do the same as Mamma gets ready... and god forbid if Mamma decides to wear her night pyjamas below a office kurta !If you change you change all else leave it as is. Once Papa ready you start waving bye and telling him shoe and drop his bag from the deewan and tell him to take it ... And as if thats not enuff you say bye, give a flying kiss and then go ahead and bang the door on his face if his taking too long at the door and not proceeding to work ! Ditto for Mamma ... and Dupatta ! Man ! I've never seen anyone so passionate abt the dupatta .. I can not even try wearing and walking around in a salwar kameez without the dupatta on. You search thru all rooms/all clothes that you have access to /high and low and find Mammas dupatta and give it to her and make her wear it. And to add insult to injury, you say "Mamma dupatta theek se" if the dupatta is sliding off one side or is not sitting right on the shoulders esp when we in the car ! Its so annoying dear ... I mean I dunno where you've picked it from because no one in the house speaks so .. but yes I have to admit that Mamma also has such OCDs abt doing things a certain way, keeping things in the right place etc !Is the genes or is it just something that all toddlers do, I wonder ! Reading Madmommas post and comments, seems like toddlers use this as their weapon against we control-freak mommies who tell them eat this, do that, sit there, don't do that, wash your hands etc etc :))). Nani has a good laugh when she hears you control mamma .. says things come a full circle and that theres more fun to come :-)( Ah ! How I wish I had not troubled Nani so much and how wish that i wud stop doing it at least now)

b) You piddle and for some reason if we do not realise we suddenly find you running for the pocha and trying to clean it yourself !! This is your way of telling us we getting lazy. No delay allowed in such matters !

c) When Papa tries to put you to sleep you tell him "kandhe pe lo " , "Papa Uttho" "Papa Adu Godi" "Papa Bhaito" and so on in no predictable order, making him go thru rigourous exercise regimen as designed by you !

d) When Mamma tries to sing to you various rhymes and songs as she puts you to sleep .. You wud quickly change tracks in random order and insist we sing one two lines of that song before you decide you want another one !So it wud go smthng like "Brown girls Tralalala" ..and then " Ringa Ringa" and then "Namo Namo" and then suddenly "Dosai Maav Dosai .." and "Crazy Kiya Re" ... "Tic Tac Toe .. " and "Sa Sa Sare !" .. All languages /all types ... you decide the tracks ..you are the DJ of the music that puts you to sleep !!

e) Clothes !! Oh .. don't even get me started on this ! In short for past few weeks its been exasperating !You have some idea formed in your head of matching pairs of full sleeve tees and pyjamas !( not necessarily colour coordinated but actually stuff that goes well with each other) based on what Mamma has put on for you in the past. However in the winter given the number of clothes to be washed and dried there are missing pairs very often and like every elder, i occasionally think - how does it matter - baccha kuch bhi pehen ke ja sakta hai .. Man ! What a tussle it is and needless to say we know who wins always .. YOU !! As Mamma tries to forcibly put on one leg into the pyjama you skilfully wrestle out the other one ..making it impossible to force or decide for you ...

f) If theres a deal in feeding you like "Ek Chammach Dahi .. Ek Chammach Dal.. Ek Gassa Roti " .. well who wud think a toddler wud notice as you slime in 2 gassas of roti in between in a bid to hasten the feeding process .. but no !You scream murder and purse your lips and say Mamma Dal or Dahi or whatever your favorite item is ..You can twist the terms of the deal to your liking but no one else !

g) Yesterday Nani said lets make pasta just like that in the evening and then decided against it. But well who could change things once you've heard them . You refused to have anything else and insisted Nani make pasta and Nani had to make it despite the fact that she was not very familiar with the steps !

h) You pick up tiniest particles lying around and head for the dustbin !Also if you happen to dribble milk or any food item and it dirties your dress or floor .. you tell Mamma .. " Mamma kerchief Saafi Saafi !"

Oh my god !! WHat a Control freak and dictator I have as a daughter.. so much so that we often forget who is the parent !

GabduTalk

We were giving you Shelcal ( the calcium syrup the doc has prescribed for you) last evening. There was a picture of a mom holding her son on her hip. So you said "Baby Mamma ki Godi mein" and stopped .. so I prodded you " Baby Mamma ki Godi mein kya kar raha hai?" You looked at me - and thought hard and said " Baby Mamma ki Godi mein Adu Godi kar raha hai !" Now Adu is a word that you've used for Godi since you were one and now that u've learnt Godi also, you typically ask us to do "Adu Godi" which is essentially pick me up.It was so funny to hear you say " Baby Mamma ki Godi mein Adu Godi kar raha hai" for the lack of better options to express yourself !You sure know how to get out of a spot don't you?

Need to let the Sun Shine upon you

Dear Gabdu,

I am rather ashamed to tell you that this week when we visited the doc for your MMR vaccine, he did a complete checkup and asked me in a rather strict and unapproving tone whether or not I had given you the calcium dose and vit D he had prescribed in Sept. I had not :( because you kept falling sick of and on and everytime I wud ask the doc, he wud say start it after the child gets ok. Bad excuse I know :( and so I am unable to come to terms with the fact that I did not pay enuff attention to it . Imagine my horror when he said your fontanelle had not closed and you had open wrists .. not that I knew exactly what that meant but I knew that I had screwed up :(. I asked him what it meant and he said .."Calcium deficiency - can cause Rickets "actually he did not even say a full sentence - he looked disapprovingly and said "Rickets" like I mean how could you educated folks not know abt it :(( . Frankly speaking it never crossed my mind that I need to take care of your mineral/vitamin requirements and that deficiency cud happen at any strata of the society. I associated the deficiencies with malnourished kids and I know I am wrong abt it :(. Anyways thankfully the doc told us abt the fact that there is a calcium deficiency and so I have started on regular doses of Calcium and every morning Nanu takes you downstairs for playing for abt an hr. I overlooked the important factor of sunlight and though all ur grandparents stressed on it, we kinda did not pay much attention to it. Anyways I am praying and hoping that with this, the deficiency goes away and everything is fine . Also read abt the fact that when child breastfed and mother does not get enuff sunlight( Vit D) that could also cause a deficiency .. so need to make it a pt for us elders also to spend some good time in sunlight. I mean come to think of it even mama papa hardly get any sunlight :(
I hope everything turns out fine and I am really sorry I omitted taking care of these things and i hope anyone reading this will also ensure they and their children get enuff sunlight

luv
Mamma

Mums the wor(l)d

Gabdu has started for some strange reason calling her Nani Mumma, Mummy and all the other variations of Mum occasionally. Ok .. not a strange reason but pbbly because I call Nani "Mummy" and so she has made the association. I am amazed that I actually felt jealous that she was doing this or may be jealous is the wrong word - shud I say possessive of my title of mummy ! Its just a name and shud not matter and yet somewhere deep down I wished she wud not do that ;-). I kept correcting and telling her that she is Nani ...;-) .The title is just a very tiny bit of the experience of motherhood and yet I feel the word wraps around it a zillion emotions and so I cling on to it possessively demanding that it be only my right to be called so .. Wonder how our moms feel when we start calling our MILs by that name ...and yet they tell us to address them that way ...In fact I cannot forget how difficult it was for me to call my MIL mummy .. I felt strange and felt robbed of my mother ..I cud not bring myself to call her mummy.. Even now though its been 5 years .. I still find it difficult to call my MIL mummy when my moms around because to me my mothers just one ! Hmmm .. wonder how I will handle gabdu calling her MIL mummy years later ...

I dunno if I am being stupid and over sensitive but I really kinda like the indispensability of me being mommy ..which I know is not fair to her yet I love it when I am the one who gets showered with kisses and hugs rather than say pappa. I am the one she comes to when she is sleepy, cranky and basically in need of anything. Thats a unique status. Of course this comes with its own negatives - expect to be required merely in the background when she is busy playing with her thatha, patti, nanu, nani,atthai etc but dare you move away from the room - u get caught and have a toddler crying as if you have beaten her up, your entry into the house is often met with crying rather than the happy reception accorded to papa ... Those are the times you sometimes wish you cud loan that title out to someone -or may be not ;-)