Time flies

and how.... Gabdu's bro golu is now 4 yrs old and Gabdu herslf a 7 year old big sis ! Golu goes to Jr KG and Gabdu now all grown up and going to class 2 . Time flies and things change and yet there is so much happening. There are no concrete milestones to cross and yet every moment there is a new thing learnt and a little more traversed on the path of life ! Life's changed and how .. After Gadbu I did unthinkables like quitting and being a full time mommy. Then just as I settled in fully into the role , after a 5 year break, I am back into the corporate world, albeit part time , but back. Actually its been a year since I am back and I am enjoying being a part time worker and full time mommy ( I guess even when u work full time, you can never be a part time mommy). And the kids have adjusted and adjusted well without any issues to smoothen ...
Ah ! So glad I could get back. I always claimed to one and all that I can get back to work anytime but not to seeing my children grow when really tiny ..A small corner of my mind had a doubt as to whether it will happen and now that it has it does not seem that difficult !
Anyways so I am back to the corporate world and also to blogging, so anyone who is hearing , wish me luck !

wall-e-ball

Gabdu is now 4.5 and her bro Golu turning 15 mnths old soon. I have been missing in action but really need to document all the interesting stuff that the kids do and say and so here I am hoping to stay and update regularly
Gabdu and papa came up with the topic of volleyball for some reason and so Gabdu asks what is Volleyball and papa is thrilled to explain hoping his daugther is finally showing some interest in sports. So he explains- volleyball is played with players of two teams throwing the ball from one side of the net to the other.And before he could get into a deeper explanation of number of players, techniques etc, she interrupts with .. papa it shud have been throwing the ball across the Wall na .. why is there a net? Papas bewildered expression prompted her to elaborate.. Net hai to Netball and Wall ho tho Wall-e-ball :))

Little thoughts and questions

Well back after quite a while... but could not but help thinking how I would miss out on remembering all the little things she says unless I actually put them down...
a) She was playing with the doctor set with patti and suddenly she found the scissors and became a barber and was pretending to cut pattis hair. So as we sat down for dinner she asks .. Mumma jaise Teacher ka student hota hai aur doctor ka patient waise barber ka kya hota hai?It took me a while to grasp what she was saying ...and to find the answer !! Barber ka cilent I had to say ...
b) Looking down from our window she spotted the quasi-slums and turned to me and asked "Mamma wo log aise bahar kyon rehte hain?Unke pas humare jaisa ghar kyon nahin hain?" I had to say wo thode poor hain aur unke pass thoda kam paisa hai isiliye ... so she then asks me "Aur phir hum kyon rehte hain achhe ghar mein"?
c) Went to Shriyas place and they assembled the tent for the kids ... Tanvi was not there when Shriyas mum took the tent pieces out from the almirah. So when Tanvi saw the tent she asks " Aunty where did you take it out from". She pointed to the small shelf from where she had taken the pieces. So Tanvi looks at the shelf again thoughtfully and asks "Show me how will it fit there?Wapis daal ke dikhao. Ye tho itna bada hai"
d) Speaking to Maria ... and she was saying how Roshini descibed the tikka on the hair that some kids wore to school on traditional day. "It was a sleeping line with a triangle at the bottom " . Tanvi was not with me when this conversation happened so out of curiosity I asked her if any kids wore anything on their head she said yes ..the boys wore a standing line with the oval at the end . I guess she was talking abt the feathers they wore as krishnas. I found it extremely amusing that the kids had such desciptions of things in terms they had been taught at school!!


There are sooooo many more things but will update after a while

Sunny days

Well, so now that sunny days are here Gabdu, Mamma does not take you downstairs in the heat even if say you have a holiday at school simply because it seems too hot on some days.. So today after returning from a field trip when you said "Mamma Neeche Chalein" .. I told you "Nahin Beta bahut dhoop ho rahi hai" .. and then as an afterthought to ensure she does not protest unnecessarily next time if need to go out in the sun with her, I added a sort of disclaimer.."Jaa sakte hain hum dhoop mein lekin Cap pehen ke" .. so pat came the reply " Mamma Bal (Hair) not enough? Only Bal pehen ke nahin jaa sakte?" Kids come up with the most interesting stuff don't they?

Mr Fix it

Yesterday, you begged me for "5 min - i will watch tv for 5 mins mamma" .. Well thats my fault really cause when I heat your food and you seem cranky because of hunger or bored for any reason, to keep you out of the kitchen( i am a hyper mommy - what if the tongs to reheat rotis fall on u accidentally, what if the hot dal katori slips from my hands - so well I try and keep you out of the kitchen when only you and me at home), I say " Beta why don't u watch mickey/stanley or whatever on disney channel for 5 mins " And the rule is "No tv while eating " so technically you get to see tv for 5-10 mins every 2-3 days . So anyways you said this and so as you were neither cranky nor bored, I tried to reason with you so that you could do puzzles to keep yourself occupied while I heated food for our lunch. So I said "Gabdu, Aapki aankhen kharab ho jayengi tv dekhne se .." and gave 2 seconds for u to digest that and said " to ab to aapko tv nahin dekhna na?" You said "Dekhna hai" so I asked " Phir aapki aankhen?" and you say" Koi baat nahin Mamma, Wo tho papa fix kar denge " !!! Again I guess because to postpone fixing ur toys or putting fresh batteries in noisy electronic toys, I typically say " Papa aayenge - fix kardenge " so... I guess its all my doing anyways !!

Also, the other day we were going thru your playschool activity book and there were questions like
Who flies the plane?
You say - Pilot
Who drives the truck
You say -Truck driver
Who Drives the car ?
Pat comes the reply - "Papa"

IMAGINATION THAT SPELLS TROUBLE

You are a lot into pretend play and role reversals these days .. I mean its always been a favorite for a long time -may be more a year or so but now its very pronounced and often amazes me. Often it helps me see exactly how I speak to you and how it comes across to you ...So we often have these role reversals where Mamma becomes Papa, Papa becomes Gabdu and Gabdu becomes Mamma .. Your favorite role is playing Mamma as Mamma tries to discipline you, control you etc etc so its best to show her how it is to be on the other side by making her Gabdu :-)))
And you can come up with interesting observations and imaginary stories .. like looking at a hole in papas tee-shirt when he was putting you to sleep and saying " Papa aap ka shirt phat gaya kya .. Mamma ne pull kiya kya ? Koi Baat nahin, mein aap ke liye market se naya le kar aaoongi ok? theek hai?"
My God ! Mamma ne pull kiya kya ? wonder where that came from ! Sheer imagination !
Also you bring info from friends at school and add your own imagination -like " Arnav Malaysia gaya ...mere liye chocolate lene gaya .. lekar aa gaya" with only the part abt Arnav going to Malaysia being true!
Need to write a detailed post on the pretend play you do and stuff you come up with..

MUSICAL EXPRESSIONS

Gabdu, you have decided to come up with some or the other song for most stuff we talk to you abt - esp bollywood songs and esp when you are on the pot :-)
Few notable and funny ones have been
a) When Mamma says lets go downstairs Gabdu, you say "Go Jhonny go go go"
b) The other day Patti was mentioning " I went to Judge an elocution competition"- and though you took a fraction of a second in trying to find the word "Judge" in ur mental dictionary, you suddenly started with "A-A-Ashiqui mein teri J-J-Jayegi Jaan meri" ... It took us a second to figure out what made u sing that song and once we did we could hardly stop laughing
c) In Pooja auntys car when we were on our way to drop Arshu.." Beta Arshu to Paari Paari Kardo"( As in give hugs and love to Arshu", you misheard it and the outcome was " Sajana ji mein to Vaari Vaari re Tu Hi to mera Sansar hai"

In case you read this later and wonder where you picked up the songs from - they are primarily from mamma who keeps singing without realising you pick up the tune and words so easily and also from the music that plays in the car when we go out on weekends !

BLOGSTIPATION CLEARING ;-)

Well, Mamma has had so much to write but somehow never got down to writing it .. was afflicted with blogstipation I guess ( Such a nice term coined by some blogger- captures mammas state very well). So I decided to feed some fodder to my thoughts to clear the blogstipation and looks like just thinking abt it helps :-)
So mamma will hopefully go on a overdrive in the next few days and write all abt stuff that you've been upto for the past 6 months ! ( God I can't believe I have not updated stuff since then esp since so much has been happening !)

I understand music

Well, Gabdu, the game we played a week back or so turned out to be full of surprises!! The game involved mamma humming a tune and you had to identify the song. Actually it was not even intended as a game. Mamma was humming "Chalo mana ganga jamuna" and you started singing the words of the song. So then we did this for abt 15 -20 songs ( Rhymes, Bollywood Music, Bhajans etc) and you identified all of them. Kids sure have an amazing sense for music as well as dance. Wonder where this disappears as we grow up !Heres hoping you continue having an inclination to music and dance just as you have right now

Sleep/Potty Training , Tooth Brushing and other updates ;-)

Gabdu,

Been intending to post this for long but keep getting lazy. When Nanu Nani were here there were lots of milestones/changes/updates that happened - heres a quick list of the one between Jan and now

1. You dropped one of ur two naps around Jan end or so which wud be around 18-19 months. Also you have started sleeping quite easily for ur only nap which is around 1.30 pm everyday, No more rocking/feeding/coaxing/begging/crying etc etc. You usually take a 1hr nap and wake up and after that it depends on whether mamma gets lucky. You could get up again after an hr or every fifteen minutes and eventually have a total of 2 hrs of sleep in bits or sometimes its 3 hrs with breaks every 30 minutes. How I wish this wud improve too.
2. You started speaking full long sentences and using words whose meanings are a little difficult to visualize as in words like Bhi, Gussa ( which u say Bussa for some reason), Dard, Khujali etc etc.This happened again beginning of 2007
3. You started climbing the steps leading to slide finally around Jan mid. Its a major milestone because we felt we would have to keep putting u at the top forever because u showed no inclination to climb !
4. You started to eat your fruit lik grapes/apple etc mostly on own if given in a chotta plate.You started using the spoon to have dahi and some solid stuff occasionally
5. Watching Aarushi Didi you wanted to drink water Aapi aapi and so you drink comfortably off the steel tumblers without spilling. You drink water on ur own but for some reason milk drinking requires quite some coaxing if aapi aapi so we just hold the cup for you to drink.
6. Your dislike for the tooth brushing reduced as you saw aarushi didi do it every night. So its pretty much a done thing before sleep. We are yet to introduce it as regular feature for the mornings.And did I mention 4 of ur teeth ( all incisors)sprouted around 18-20 months.The molars and premolars seemed to be sprouting from the looks of swollen gums for the past 3-4 months but looks like its just our imagination 'cos it can't take that long ;-). So on last count you have got a total of 8 teeth
7.You dropped from multiple night feeds to a feeds only after 4.30 to 5 am with water sessions in between if you woke up. This happened with sleeping with Nanu Nani for abt 4-5 days just before they left ( They told you I was at office if you woke up asking for me;-)). It had improved ur sleep quite a bit till there was some reversal because you were a little sick and also because mamma was at times too tired to put u back to sleep any other way and nursing while lying down was easiest.Anyways now we have started working towards changing it and for past 4 nights you have gone without "Mamma walla Duddhu" for the night and the first after wake up feed.But then you are quite a fighter and keep asking for it and keeping us as well as urslef sleepless for long periods in the fond hope that mamma papa will eventually give in. Lets see how that goes ;-). As of now only the late evening (7.00 pm ) feed is to be dropped which is quite an achievement!! So applause for both mamma and you !!
8. You can remove ur underwear urself so depending on ur mood and if u decide to be nice to mamma you often inform me abt 'susu' and we do it on the commode which has now a smaller seat that we put for u if you need to use it.Apart from 1-2 max accidents a day we mostly do susu on that but potty is a diff challenge and you insist that u will do it in the "front room" as u call the living room and in ur panties. Hopefully this will change too

i think this covers the key updates I wanted to pen.More later

Luv
Mamma

One,two,three,four,five

One, two, three, four five !


Once I ate the six alive :-))

Well, I count all the time. I know till 10 in English and Hindi.I don't understand the fuss abt counting to a specific number. I know if there are more than one of anything one counts ..like while putting back my toys,taking y crayons out, when seeing pictures of say 2 dogs,picking flowers, climbing, and also before throwing the ball etc.But I like to stop whenever i feel like and not because I have counted right. Like i would say "Teen biliyaan" when there are two or I would go on till 10 if asked how many. Thats the fun of counting ... heard of random numbers? Well I pick mine and use it. Anyways till yesterday I would say one, two, three, four,five,seven, eight, nine,ten and dutifully and carefully skip the six.. always !This was for a good 3-4 months. It was good fun to see my parents wonder why I could never include six ... anyways I decided to surprise them by including six in my numbers !!

Visit to Doctor Uncle

Well, so finally mamma got over her fear of taking me the doc for vaccination of Hib booster and DPT booster which has been due for God knows how long !! The reason was primarily that Mamma got hyper abt the shape of my head after the head shaving. Well, you see she could see the contours much more clearly and so thought the bumps in certain places were weird. Also she could clearly see my anterior fontanel was not yet closed. This was after 2 months of calcium and lots of sunlight every morning, so she got worried . All the more worried after reading most fontanels close by 18 mnths !Thankfully doc said it shud close soon and the contours on my beautifully shaven head are fine :). Also finally got the vaccination done as we visited the doc again. I was quite brave. While most kids wud dread going to doctor uncle, I wanted to enter his room everytime the door to his room opened to let some other kid in. Of course I got quite suspicious when he wanted me to lie down for the vaccination. I mean its a very vulnerable position for attack right? I hate it when he asks me to lie down. Anyways mamma papa had prepared me abt the vaccination and this time around I was comfortable with the docs thick moustache too, so I got myself distracted my froggie over my head, and before I knew it the doc had vaccinated me ! I cried as it hurt a little but as soon as they let me get up, and the doc offered me 2 marie biscuits ! Can you imagine !2 MARIE BISCUITS !, I forgot all abt the pain and even smiled !And then kept repeating doctor uncle ne Guddu ko biscuit diya till we got out. This was to ensure everyone thot my mom cooks badly, does not give me these biscuits ever and that I can be conned easily. Oh what a way to turn a doc visit to be very exciting :-)

Head S(h)aved

We have finally managed to get your head shaving done this sunday ( 8th April). Papa had his haircut and thatha took you along to watch that happening and you wanted your hair cut done too ! We have sorta been preparing you abt this hair cut thingy and making it sound really exciting so I guess you really wanted to get it done. So on the next day we asked you " Barber Uncle ko bulayein aapke hair cut karne ke liye?" You said "Haan" . We asked again t reconfirm "Abhi" and you said "Haan". I guess we were very tense abt it and you were hardly bothered or even excited !!So barber uncle came at 11.20 am or so and we sat you on the bed. He tried using his white bedsheet around your neck to collect the hair but you removed it irritatedly and we were quite definite that this was going to be as harrowing a experience as your ear piercing!So I told the guy jitna hota hai kar dena baaaki chod dena. Wo zara bhi roye to stop kar dena etc etc .We had asked him to get that machine ..did not want to risk the razor !Surprisingly for the first 3/4 of the shaving you sat quite still only occasionally irritated with hair falling but brushing it off. Then when there was just 1/4th of you head with long hair and the rest cleanly shaven, you decided to move ! We thought we wud have to see you with part of your head shaved and the rest with long hair because we know that once you say no there was nthng we could do. Thankfully you did not say no- and with our timley intervention with a new CD playing on the laptop,you were ready to even stay still.So well, you were saved embrassement of having just one side shaven off :). Anyways all in all it took around may be 5-10 mins and was very quick and hassle free for all of us. I am yet to check what needs to be done with ur hair. Nani says put in the sea but Patti not very sure so we waiting for Patti to get back or may be we will just do a mini visarjan !Your first hair was smooth silky thin and curling at the ends .. lets see how the next crop is gonna be :)
After your ear piercing and the way you cry for even trying on shoes ( have not yet managed to buy shoes for you that I could try on at the shop and pick up based on ur foot size( or may be just once initially)), we did not expect it to be so peaceful. But looks like toddlers have it in them to throw surprises all the time, like screaming for the most innocuous stuff like trying on clothes,trying a shoe and then being so peaceful for a thing like a hair cut !
Anyways all said and done it was a close shave for us and for you ( not as close as razor wud have done it but a close shave nevertheless;-)

Games I play

a) Hide and Seek

Names I use interchangeably for this game
a) Peek-a-boo
b) Chuppa-Chuppi
c) Guddu Kahan Hai?


All I understand of this game is seeing the person and screeching and laughing loudly and then running in the opposite direction
I often tell Mamma to hide saying Mamma chuppo and if I can't find her by just running behind her I just stand making the hand gesture and saying Mamma Kahan hai
and then Mamma calls out and I find her and I feel extremely thrilled and sometimes say phir se and at other times I say "Guddu Chuppega" and run and then wait if Mamma is not right behind me- I basically want her to know where I am going right?
I mean what if she cannot find me ! And if Mamma pretends to be searching for me high and low though I am right in front of her - I promptly tell her "Guddu Ye raha !". I love this game. Its all abt screaming and laughing..right?


b)Catch Catch

Names I use
a) Catch
b) Pakado

Well I dunno why this is called by a different name -isn't is smthng similar to the peek-a-boo?I mean its similar with all the running and laugther and screaming
I love catching Arnav, Aarohi and Arsh. I guess Arnavs too fast for me so I often just give up!Off late I have figured that in the building lobby where mamma papa often run around the area to play with me, I can actually catch them faster if I run in the opposite direction
Its great fun to do this- I mean I have figured that what goes round comes round !! And shh... its much easier - that way they do all the running and I catch them easily !


c)Lip reading:
Also sometimes play a modified form called Secret!
Basically Mama tries to say smthng silently and I try to read what she is trying to say... Its good fun and I mostly figure out all familar words - sometimes I guess very quickly from the context! I mean if Mamma says "Atthai" then I am almost sure she will say Chennai next so sometimes even without seeing her lips I say Chennai !!
I love it better when Mamma murmurs in my ears . Its so ticklish and so damn funny !!I dunno yet how to tell a secret in the ear but because I know its a murmur - I often murmur meaninglessly !Mamma also uses these games when i read a book and tries to tell me what the picture is when I am unsure or guess incorrectly !


d) Pretend Play
This is smthng I really love !Gives me a chance to be in control of things and behave adultlike and ape the elders.
I make "Bhaiya" ( the ragged doll - why do we kids love the oldest and the most ragged of the dolls) sleep, make him clap hands, walk, jump,sit on a chair, do potty, scold him etc! I try changing his clothes also occasionally. I am often so involved in pretend play that I would rather say "Bhaiya ko susu aaa raha hai" when I would like to go or "Bhaiya ko Paani de do !"


e) Bat Ball

I can play this with just about anything - and in any manner. It all started when nanu nani got me the first bat ball. I then decided it was more fun to play bat ball by swapping ... so the minute i meet utsa or arshu, we swap bats and balls. Slowly I figured out that one can actually hit the ball wit the bat (was that supposed to be what bat and ball are meant for). Of course each kid has to play with a one ball and one bat- we do not play cricket like the way elders do - so no concept of some one throwing ball and other person hitting etc .We just throw it ourselves and then sweep it away just the way the jhadoo does. More often we all just carry our bat and ball and run behind someone else !
Now the second part of the fun starts - i play bat ball with the rolling pin and a small ball, with spoon and mustart seed / black pepper, with balloon stick and plastic pieces of other toys, with play-dough ball etc. etc.
Also mamma does not seem to understand how to hold the bat when I improvise on what the bat is- Mommy the broader part is the right side down and the other narrower portion to held !I often have to correct Mamma by saying Mamma Ulta - seedha Karo !


f) Slide/See Saw/Swing

I like swinging - the first few times, i couldnt sit, and fell off two three times. Then suddenly one fine day, i started sitting in swing myself. I sometimes ask mummy or pappa to sit and seat me on their lap, and swing me ... And sliding is some fun, provided someone puts me on top. Mummy pappa are making me climb the slide steps - i can do that, but the question is why , why should i put so much effort going up only to fall down the slide ...


g) Play dough

Names I use
a) dosa

I love pinching out little pieces and pretending I am making something !I also try to press it against the moulds and say ye dekho kya banaya ! Bunny or whatever .. But mostly I make my parents do the hard work of making something and let me tell you that they are pretty sad at it and they stick to the moulds instead of trying anything different or creative !

h) Imitation - the monkey ( and parrot business)

Well I love to repeat anything and everything irrespective of whether it makes any sense or not to me ! Also I love making faces that different folks make - I have a face a week that I pick and choose that I keep going for the week, making my parents a tad worried abt whether somethings amiss with my lips/eyes/nose etc !! I love the look on their face say when I pout or make a silly face !
Also I love remembering some characteristic sound/face/statement by various people and then keep repeating it oodd occasions ( like middle of the night /middle of lunch or any random time with no context) - saying"Pappu Uncle kaise kare hain" and then doing the action/sound/statement associated with that person. If I go wrong I correct myself saying " Sorry Pappu uncle nahin Sunaina aunty karti hain " or some such amazing statement !

Remember - Imitation is the best form of flattery !
i) Dandiya

I like playing the dandiya - basically twirling a stick of any dimension, and hitting it on some other stick of someone ... So i exchange bats and beat arshu's bat .. or i just beat two ladles in the kitchen ... calling out "dandiyaa re thathaa dandiyaa re"
I often use my bat/spoon etc for dandiya ! I have taught arshu also this and we often play this variation of using the bat instead of cricket or any such mundane stuff that adults try to teach us

Ulta Chor Kotwal ko Dante !! - Pearls of wisdom from Gabdu

Gabdumms,

Some pearls from you in your usual chatty times that are typically before sleep time

a) Mamma Guddu ko Tang kar Raha hai. Guddu Ro raha hai !! ( This is when you troubling mamma in resisting sleep and when Mamma is close to tears !)
b) Mamma - Guddu ko Calcium do ! ( To which Mamma says nahin kal lenge because you are close to falling asleep and though mamma has indeed forgotten to give you calcium, mamma can't just afford to let you get active again by giving switching full lights on and giving you an excuse to wake up. Moreover Mamma lazy to get up and get the calcium !!) So you promptly sit up when Mamma says "Kal Lenge" and say with a severe expression ! "Doctor Uncle Ne kya kaha tha - Mamma Guddu ko calcium do !!"
It was an amazing comic as well as embarassing moment for Mamma
c) Ankit Mammu had come over to see Aarushi didi and when he was leaving he was trying to put on his shoes standing .. so it was quite an effort. So you end up making an observation " Ankit Mammu Shoes pehen rahe hain ! Shoe tight ho raha hai !!"
d) Mamma is bathing you and because of your newfoud obsession with "Guddu Swimmming Karega" meaning wanting to sit and splash in the tub, Mamma ended up wet so Mamma says " Guddu dekho Mamma Gilu Gilu ( wet) ho gayi ! Aise Mat karo" You continue your splashing and say " Mamma dress badal lo"
e) Topping this list is the way you tell Pappa or Mamma angrily if we try to talk to each other esp in Tamil or English or actually even in Hindi.. you loudly interrupt us with a " Pappa Mamma ko Nahi Baat karo" Grammar completely wrong and yet conveying ur pt of " I am the center of attention and the world" emphatically !
f) Of course you don't let Pappa give you water/sit you on the potty and other such stuff saying Pappa "No" and hitting him. I feel sorry and jealous of him at the same time. You vehemently say "Mamma karegi !"


The list goes on but I think these are like top 6 !!

Luv
Mamma

Dahi Kahan Gayan

Gabdu,
you do come up with most hilarious interpretations of whatever we say or shud we say the "holes" in the way language is used are exposed with your interesting interpretations
I take you every morning at around 9 am for soaking up some sunlight both for you and me..So I told you the other day as I have said many other times " Chalo dhoop khatein hain Guddu"... so when you were refusing to come to the areas where the sunlight was ample, I said "Beta phir dhoop kaise khayenge ?" and you showed the eating action with all sounds to go with the eating :)

It was so funny that after that I think I let you play in the shade !

Today as we were having our dinner ... there was " Guddus Dahi" that Mamma was trying to feed you. So naturally there had to be "Papas dahi" and "Mammas dahi" also by induction. So you asked " Mama ka dahi kahan Gaya?" As I was already done with my food, I said " Mamma ka dahi peat mein gaya". After couple of minutes I found you pulling my top and looking in from the top standing next to me and Saying "Mamma ka dahi kahan Gaya? Peat mein Gaya" !! It was so hilarious to see you trying to find Dahi under my clothes near my stomach !

I can't remember other stuff right now but there have been so many such instances and you really bring a smile on our face even at the times when we are exasperated, most often by some naughty thing u've done !

Luv
Mamma

Home Alone ( With you ;-)

Dear Gabdu,

Mamma has quit her job end of Feb to spend some time with you. This happened after quite a bit of soul searching.
Now, let me tell you this before you jump to any conclusion, I am a confused person, and am not very clear on whether
I want to be a SAHM or a mother who also works outside home. I guess I want to be everything but then the hours and capability is limited
However, the thought process that went behind this decision ( which might itself change depending on how things go..)
a) I feel I have a good 30+ years ahead of me to work, so I feel in this long stretch, 3-4 year break shud not hurt "career" or whatever I think of it.I feel I do not want to get old and then feel that all I've missed out on small moments of your growing up. I do not want to live these moments later say with my grankids because we really dunno what lies ahead
b) I feel that as a parent its my duty to take care of you and its the grandparents privilege to enjoy playing with you without becoming encumbered with the responsibility of taking care of you full time. They've brought up their respective kids and now its our turn. The least we can give back to them is to take care of our kids. That being said, I am blessed with in laws and parents who are ready to support me even if I feel I cannot manage at home and need to get back to work
c) Also somewhere deep down I feel I am anyways not giving my fullest attention to either career or family while working - so anyways I am slowing down my career, so why not take a break and concentrate on one thing at a time
d) I needed a break to think abt how we going to work out things going fwd. I mean it cannot go on like this right, both mamma and papa working outside home, grandparents and say maids to help at home. So need to I guess sit back and think of how to strike a balance such that I can spend enough time with you and also do something constructive and have something of a so called "career"

Now that I've spent abt 2 weeks after Nannu Nani left for Noida all alone during the day with you at home, I really admire SAHMs for their patience. At least at work you get to eat your lunch peacefully ;-) and take breaks. Here there is no concept of a "break". Your sleep is so pathetic that I cannot even think of a nap, and moreover I have other things to finish off when you are asleep. If I try to read the paper, you tell me "Mamma paper Mat padho" and if I don't comply I could soon have pieces of the paper to put together to read in addition to having to calm a screaming baby.
Also, it is extremely difficult to keep you occupied and engaged with stuff when at home. We go down thrice a day to play so that leaves abt 6 hrs or so of play time at home and its really difficult to keep thinking of new stuff. You need new stuff and so does Mamma because though you could at times be engaged in repeat reads and plays ( for 1000 times also!), its sometimes plain boring for Mamma
Mamma plans to start doing crafts with you...Also the luxury of talking to friends is gone...even on the phone ! You want to hold the phone and talk to whoever is on the other end and its embarassing to tell friends who often call long distance to talk to you for sometime and then hardly talk myself and hang up saying I'll call later .

One of my friends asked me the other day - so hows Gabdu feeling now with you at home. Frankly speaking I don't think it makes too much of a diff to you. You pbbly were happier with Thatha/Patti, Nannu/Nani as you got to see many more people around !But yes it does make a diff to me. I feel satisfied that I am able to spend good time with you, see your antics and activities and also not be "dependent" on anyone else to take care of you

Despite all that I've said above, I can say that I am in two minds ... may be its easier to have someone help and take care of you. May be its better for everybody- you me and everybody else. Not sure ...Also I am considering getting a maid for say 8-10 hrs so that you have someone else to play with too.Why I am procrastinating on that I am unsure... pbbly unfounded fears of getting dependant on a maid, not giving you enuff time because there would be someone else to take care of you and general distrust abt the way maids handle kids
But I am seriously considering 4 hrs a day work from home option and if that needs to work, I will need some help. I dunno if I am just being a control freak by not letting cooks and maids for you in the house yet

So the upshot is - I am unclear, confused as always abt plan ahead but as of now I am happy I am with you and not regretting being at home despite having sudden panic attacks during the day abt " what am I going to do?"

Will write you a less muddled letter some other time but for now this is what I am feeling...

And actually this is when the "break" feeling is not fully there ... its just like a vacation as of now


Luv
Mamma

Big Boss

Could not resist putting down the kind of control freak you are and recording the kind of details you observe and make us comply with after reading this post from Madmomma . As I try to recollect all the stuff you control us on .. lemme start with the beginning of the day to the night

a) As Papa gets ready for office and wears his full-sleeved shirt while still donning his boxers, you scream papa "pnyjama" ( your term for Pants and a gabduspeak for pyjama) and cry if he delays it even by a second. Ideally you would want him to remove his home wear and don office clothes all simultaneously. You do the same as Mamma gets ready... and god forbid if Mamma decides to wear her night pyjamas below a office kurta !If you change you change all else leave it as is. Once Papa ready you start waving bye and telling him shoe and drop his bag from the deewan and tell him to take it ... And as if thats not enuff you say bye, give a flying kiss and then go ahead and bang the door on his face if his taking too long at the door and not proceeding to work ! Ditto for Mamma ... and Dupatta ! Man ! I've never seen anyone so passionate abt the dupatta .. I can not even try wearing and walking around in a salwar kameez without the dupatta on. You search thru all rooms/all clothes that you have access to /high and low and find Mammas dupatta and give it to her and make her wear it. And to add insult to injury, you say "Mamma dupatta theek se" if the dupatta is sliding off one side or is not sitting right on the shoulders esp when we in the car ! Its so annoying dear ... I mean I dunno where you've picked it from because no one in the house speaks so .. but yes I have to admit that Mamma also has such OCDs abt doing things a certain way, keeping things in the right place etc !Is the genes or is it just something that all toddlers do, I wonder ! Reading Madmommas post and comments, seems like toddlers use this as their weapon against we control-freak mommies who tell them eat this, do that, sit there, don't do that, wash your hands etc etc :))). Nani has a good laugh when she hears you control mamma .. says things come a full circle and that theres more fun to come :-)( Ah ! How I wish I had not troubled Nani so much and how wish that i wud stop doing it at least now)

b) You piddle and for some reason if we do not realise we suddenly find you running for the pocha and trying to clean it yourself !! This is your way of telling us we getting lazy. No delay allowed in such matters !

c) When Papa tries to put you to sleep you tell him "kandhe pe lo " , "Papa Uttho" "Papa Adu Godi" "Papa Bhaito" and so on in no predictable order, making him go thru rigourous exercise regimen as designed by you !

d) When Mamma tries to sing to you various rhymes and songs as she puts you to sleep .. You wud quickly change tracks in random order and insist we sing one two lines of that song before you decide you want another one !So it wud go smthng like "Brown girls Tralalala" ..and then " Ringa Ringa" and then "Namo Namo" and then suddenly "Dosai Maav Dosai .." and "Crazy Kiya Re" ... "Tic Tac Toe .. " and "Sa Sa Sare !" .. All languages /all types ... you decide the tracks ..you are the DJ of the music that puts you to sleep !!

e) Clothes !! Oh .. don't even get me started on this ! In short for past few weeks its been exasperating !You have some idea formed in your head of matching pairs of full sleeve tees and pyjamas !( not necessarily colour coordinated but actually stuff that goes well with each other) based on what Mamma has put on for you in the past. However in the winter given the number of clothes to be washed and dried there are missing pairs very often and like every elder, i occasionally think - how does it matter - baccha kuch bhi pehen ke ja sakta hai .. Man ! What a tussle it is and needless to say we know who wins always .. YOU !! As Mamma tries to forcibly put on one leg into the pyjama you skilfully wrestle out the other one ..making it impossible to force or decide for you ...

f) If theres a deal in feeding you like "Ek Chammach Dahi .. Ek Chammach Dal.. Ek Gassa Roti " .. well who wud think a toddler wud notice as you slime in 2 gassas of roti in between in a bid to hasten the feeding process .. but no !You scream murder and purse your lips and say Mamma Dal or Dahi or whatever your favorite item is ..You can twist the terms of the deal to your liking but no one else !

g) Yesterday Nani said lets make pasta just like that in the evening and then decided against it. But well who could change things once you've heard them . You refused to have anything else and insisted Nani make pasta and Nani had to make it despite the fact that she was not very familiar with the steps !

h) You pick up tiniest particles lying around and head for the dustbin !Also if you happen to dribble milk or any food item and it dirties your dress or floor .. you tell Mamma .. " Mamma kerchief Saafi Saafi !"

Oh my god !! WHat a Control freak and dictator I have as a daughter.. so much so that we often forget who is the parent !

GabduTalk

We were giving you Shelcal ( the calcium syrup the doc has prescribed for you) last evening. There was a picture of a mom holding her son on her hip. So you said "Baby Mamma ki Godi mein" and stopped .. so I prodded you " Baby Mamma ki Godi mein kya kar raha hai?" You looked at me - and thought hard and said " Baby Mamma ki Godi mein Adu Godi kar raha hai !" Now Adu is a word that you've used for Godi since you were one and now that u've learnt Godi also, you typically ask us to do "Adu Godi" which is essentially pick me up.It was so funny to hear you say " Baby Mamma ki Godi mein Adu Godi kar raha hai" for the lack of better options to express yourself !You sure know how to get out of a spot don't you?

Need to let the Sun Shine upon you

Dear Gabdu,

I am rather ashamed to tell you that this week when we visited the doc for your MMR vaccine, he did a complete checkup and asked me in a rather strict and unapproving tone whether or not I had given you the calcium dose and vit D he had prescribed in Sept. I had not :( because you kept falling sick of and on and everytime I wud ask the doc, he wud say start it after the child gets ok. Bad excuse I know :( and so I am unable to come to terms with the fact that I did not pay enuff attention to it . Imagine my horror when he said your fontanelle had not closed and you had open wrists .. not that I knew exactly what that meant but I knew that I had screwed up :(. I asked him what it meant and he said .."Calcium deficiency - can cause Rickets "actually he did not even say a full sentence - he looked disapprovingly and said "Rickets" like I mean how could you educated folks not know abt it :(( . Frankly speaking it never crossed my mind that I need to take care of your mineral/vitamin requirements and that deficiency cud happen at any strata of the society. I associated the deficiencies with malnourished kids and I know I am wrong abt it :(. Anyways thankfully the doc told us abt the fact that there is a calcium deficiency and so I have started on regular doses of Calcium and every morning Nanu takes you downstairs for playing for abt an hr. I overlooked the important factor of sunlight and though all ur grandparents stressed on it, we kinda did not pay much attention to it. Anyways I am praying and hoping that with this, the deficiency goes away and everything is fine . Also read abt the fact that when child breastfed and mother does not get enuff sunlight( Vit D) that could also cause a deficiency .. so need to make it a pt for us elders also to spend some good time in sunlight. I mean come to think of it even mama papa hardly get any sunlight :(
I hope everything turns out fine and I am really sorry I omitted taking care of these things and i hope anyone reading this will also ensure they and their children get enuff sunlight

luv
Mamma